Making friends as an autistic toddler

My daughter made a new friend!  Well, more accurately, my husband and I made new friends who also have a 2-year old daughter.  We went to their house over the weekend and by the end, their daughter declared our daughter her friend.  She also gave her hugs and comforted her when she cried.  It was adorable.

It made me quite a bit sad because my daughter doesn’t comfort people, or give hugs to other kids, or have the language or understanding to declare someone else her friend.  But, she did interact with the other girl so I guess I should take that as a good sign.  The awkward part for me was that the parents were also new friends.  The challenge is: at what point do I mention the ASD?  I fear that if I don’t mention it, people will notice that my kid is different and maybe think I’m a bad parent.  If I do, we may lose out on opportunities for play dates because other parents, consciously or subconsciously, don’t think our daughter will be a good playmate.  Also, the ASD diagnosis and therapies are a huge part of our lives as parents that we want to talk to other parents about.

In the end I mentioned it to explain my daughter’s behavior and lack of language when I felt it was noticeable to the other parents.  As it turned out, they had not noticed and would not have guessed.  They seemed a bit surprised that she has an official diagnosis at such a young age, probably in part because her symptoms aren’t that obvious, apart for the speech delay.  She stims, she has restricted interests and sensory issues, and gets mad if things aren’t in their proper places.  But none of that is particularly obvious at first glance.  Autism really is an invisible condition in many ways.

Thankfully, our new friends did not seem to care at all about the ASD label, and would like the girls to play together again.  Hooray for new friends!

Equine Therapy for autism?

I just signed kiddo up for an equine therapy program.  Since she’s only 2, she’ll start with a 30 minute class specifically for children ages 2-5 with disabilities.  If she sticks with it she can eventually move to a 60 minute class.  The horseback riding location is 15 minutes from her preschool and 20 minutes from home, so she’ll spend at least at much time in the car as she spends actually there, and more than she spends on the horse.  Luckily, Grandma has agreed to do the driving for this!

Last October, we took her to a pumpkin patch where she did a pony ride.  The pony merely walked slowly in a circle, but she was terrified.  She screamed the entire time.  That was more than 6 months ago, and since then, she has successfully pet mules without any issue (but hasn’t ridden anything).  I discussed this concern with the director of the equine therapy program, who told me that children are often terrified on their first or second time out, especially those with ASD because it’s such a new experience.  But typically by the third time they are enjoying themselves and opening up.

The whole idea seems a bit silly to me.  It feels like one of the quackery therapies for autism of which there are so many.  But intellectually I know that multiple studies have found a benefit from equine therapy for those with ASD.  (Here are links to two such studies: Study 1 Study 2).  So we’re going to give it a try.  Additionally, in our county we are eligible to receive some funding from a local government program that will pay for our equine therapy fees, making it completely free for us.

Has anyone in the wordpress world tried equine therapy, also called therapeutic horseback riding or hippotherapy for autism?  I would love to hear your experiences.